WHAT I'M MOST AFRAID TO TELL YOU.

I am so grateful to have you here on this journey with me. I've been thinking a lot about what I'm most afraid to tell you. I've shared a lot of me with you all, and now I want to share with you a part of me that is normally kept pretty quiet. I have worked really hard with this but the bad negative monster still shows up once in a while. So I'm going to be completely vulnerable in hope that sharing this will help you live a more confident and enriched life. The thing I'm most afraid to share is that I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH to live my dream....

Yep it's true! Do you feel like this? I have all the confidence that I can and will do it. But the negative thoughts still pop up and act ass a roadblock and I start questioning myself. I let that fear paralyze the action I need to take to make things happen. And then I tend to doubt myself and play the self doubt game. But I know that I have to quickly turn it around by the simple action of visualizing myself unafraid, and start moving towards my fear and facing it directly and head on. No questions asked, fear, doubt and all.

I think this time of year I always become caught in the self reflection motion.
Where am I going?
How am I changing?
What am I doing?
Where have I been ?
These thoughts roll around in my head at the coming up of a brand new year. But the thoughts mostly that surface are fear of rejection, vulnerability and fear of being judged not good enough to do my passion. Honestly when I started this blogging thing it was just a little hobby. The first months hardly anyone read what I had written. But something inside of me knew that I had to keep going, I had to do this. I could feel myself becoming very passionate about what I had started. And I knew this was making me happy in a way I had never been happy with myself before.

So then comes all the negative thoughts swirling around like a washing machine in my mind..
Am I good enough?
Will people read my work?
Will I be judged?
Will I offend others?
I was so caught up in these that I totally forgot my WHY. I wanted to make a difference and help other women find their best life and live their dreams through sharing my own experiences. I was so afraid that I was afraid of sharing this with you. How crazy is that right?

SO MUCH FEAR, SO LITTLE TIME. It began to get exhausting! And I though what is pon the other side of that fear. YES FREEDOM. You know we always have a choice. We can run the other way and see fear as the limitation to keep us where we are OR we can run towards it with bravery and courage pushing through to the other side. We can use fear as a very important tool to get us to where we want to be. A reminder of what doesn't serve us for the better.

I'm not entirely sure how I'll feel on the other side of sharing this. I guess only time will tell. But for now I'm armed and ready to run with my running shoes and wings. And not to mention a great big smile...

Kristi Xx